Sunday, March 8, 2009

Man Hunting: How to Catch a Man in a Big City

Our mothers went to school, they got married and soon after, they began having children. My Mom being the Saint that she is, offered up her advice and consolation many times over the years, as she watched her baby, break up with guy after guy. She withheld judgment when I passed on several good guys, opting instead, for the conceited socialite and the narcissistic doctor.

“I just don’t understand. You’re smart, you’re beautiful and you’re independent. Why is it so hard for you to find the right guy?” She’d lament.

My friends would initially offer support and eventually they would ask "So what was wrong with this one?"

It’s no easy task meeting quality men in a big city. Guys tend to hang onto fraternity boy tendencies longer and women are so devoted to their careers that they aren’t fazed in the slightest by flying solo at a wedding, or showing up at their 30th birthday party without a date.

The ease of shopping for a mate online with Web sites like and jdate, have resulted in a culture where no one chats up their neighbor anymore. Instead of smiling at the cute guy standing in line at Starbucks, we're multi-tasking and responding to e-mails via blackberry. It is a sad state of affairs.

I eventually got it right and I know that you will too! Below are a few tips that are simple yet effective. If you slow down just a little and make some room in your life for that special guy - you might just find that person you've been holding out for!

Chicago Girly Girl’s Tips for Man Hunting:

1. Invest in YOU. Take a creative writing class, a meditation workshop, or learn belly dancing. Harness your inner goddess by nourishing your spirit. What does this have to do with love, you ask? When you really like who you are as a person, so will everyone else.

2. Go where the men are. This one is pretty self explanatory. Ladies, unless they already have a woman (or man) on their arms, you will NOT find a guy at the ballet. Grab a friend and go to a hockey game or join a coed softball team. Sports bars on game days will work to your favor, as long as you know some basics (who is playing, basic rankings, etc.)

3. Cast your social net wider. If you’re like me, you want to spend your time with the select few who have made it to your A-list. If you’re single, this could actually work against you. The advantage to hanging out with new people is that you will have access to the single men that they know! Say "yes", the next time your coworker invites you to her husband’s happy hour. You’ll meet a lot more prospective candidates by going outside of your comfort zone. So switch things up!!

4. Be brazen. Say you’re out one night and you see a guy that is the life of the party. He is cute and you can’t help but notice his magnetic smile! Wait for the right opportunity to walk over and say hello. Few girls do this, so I assure you when he sees a cute girl walking over to him, he will be thrilled. After a few minutes, tell him that you have to get back to your friends but that you enjoyed your conversation. Don’t ask for his number or card. Unless he’s married or gay, he will ask how he can get in touch with you.

5. Flirt. I once knew a girl who would walk into a bar in front of her husband and she’d wink and smile at every guy she saw. Heads turned and her clueless husband beamed with pride. If you’re trying to get someone’s attention, sometimes the best way is to flirt with his friend. You must do this carefully however. Optimally, you want to flirt with the friend, while Mr. Hottie isn’t paying attention. When Mr. Hottie himself glances in your direction, tone it down.

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