Date Hot Spots

Somehow, I am the first person that people call when they have a date. Often times, the call is from a girlfriend but sometimes guys ask too. On a personal note, I don’t know whether I should be flattered (maybe they think I’m a cultured nightlife enthusiast who appreciates all the city has to offer) or insulted (because they think I eat out too much or have been on way too many dates.)

The call is always the same. “I have a date. “Where should we goooo?” Their voices exude both excitement and dread.

I usually ask a few questions like “Which date is it?” and “What kind of person is the lucky guy?”

Unfortunately, winter time in Chicago doesn’t offer a lot in the way of creativity, but that doesn’t mean you are limited to a night at the Cheesecake Factory.

Stick to some of the ideas below and you’ll have fun, even if there’s not a love connection.

First Date

Even if you think that you might really like this person, it is better to have a casual first date. You want there to be an adequate amount of activity, in case the guy is a dud. Conversely, if the chemistry is right, an environment conducive to conversation is ideal.

• A Bulls or Blackhawks game is a great idea, particularly if both parties appreciate sports. This is kind of a no brainer because most men are sports fans.

To look at the Bulls and Blackhawks schedule, click here.

• Ice skating at Millenium Park. This is fun because you are likely asking him to go outside of his comfort zone. Watch his behavior; if he is a fumbling idiot, but is able to laugh at himself, then he has earned himself a second date!

To view skating hours at Millenium Park, click here!

• Walk through the Art Institute of Chicago on Thursday night – it’s free and open until 8 p.m!

11 S. Michigan Avenue

To see which exhibits are currently showing at The Art Institute of Chicago, click here!

• Take a trip to the Chicago Cultural Center, which is not only one of the most impressive buildings in the city, but also a home to film festivals (March 6 – 8), poetry readings, art exhibitions and cultural celebrations.

78 E. Washington Street

Find out what exciting things are happening at the Chicago Cultural Center here!

Not The First Date...

If you’ve survived the awkward first date –hooray! -- and are ready for more datey activities, then keep reading.

• Webster’s Wine Bar – has to be one of the most charming spots in the city. This dimly lit hangout boasts an impressive list of wines by the glass – It is the perfect date spot.

1480 W. Webster Ave

Peruse the extensive wine list at Webster's Wine Bar, here!

• Tango Sur – This Southport haunt never disappoints. The BYOB spot features traditional Argentinean steaks with chimichurri sauce. The tango music is barely audible over the hordes of people – they don’t take reservations but the wait is always worth it.

3763 N Southport Ave

To visit Tango Sur online, click here!

• Firefly – is a quaint, Boystown French bistro. The food is marvelous and it’s easy to get cozy and stay for a few hours.

3335 N. Halsted St.

To visit Firefly online, click here!

Art Review - Julie Blackmon and Joseph Grigely

Joseph Grigely at the Museum of Contemporary Art (220 East Chicago)

Joseph Grigely‘s exhibition at the MCA, St. Cecilia, is a definitely worth a second look – which, is something I rarely do when viewing contemporary art.

Given my aversion to Christmas, I rushed through the film installation where “Christmas carols” are sung by the Baltimore Choral Arts Society, as though I were being followed by Jehovah's Witnesses. Then, I spotted We’re Bantering Drunkening About What’s Important in Life, 2007. It was here that I lingered with childlike curiosity, mesmerized by the patchwork of hand-written notes scribbled on maps and stationary. This wall is a kaleidoscope of colors, shapes and textures, composed of pieces of paper which once lived in a cash-register, a hotel nightstand, a menu in a French restaurant – it’s like peeking into an artists’ diary with funny quips, confessions, remarks and little drawings portraying silly squirrels and smoking snowmen. This piece is a byproduct of Grigely’s disjointed conversations with friends and perfect strangers (Grigely will often ask people to write down a statement when he is unable to lip-read.)

The artist claims that “the walls owe a lot to Josef Albers, Sol Le Witt and Agnes Martin.” I see no trace of these artists, however, I appreciate the piece for its simplicity and ambiguity. Some of the papers are simple, one reads “yuck” and another reads, “she loves you” (the word “went” is next to “she” but has been crossed out.)

Others offer more comic relief:

“She asked ‘Are those your flowers?’ voluptuous lady holding a big orange”

And some tell a story with a picture.

What Did I Say?, 2008 is equally entertaining, featuring more pieces of paper from “conversations” with former professors, friends, acquaintances and strangers. When I stand here looking at the wall, I get a glimpse of what it would be like to be deaf. One napkin displays text that reads: “Would you like a salami and smoked turkey cold plate? Yes. No. Another soda?”

And then I discover a two headed dog and a squirrel that looks an awful lot like Gizmo and my mood shifts back to amusement and utter fascination.

I giggle at a card that looks a lot like this:

The 53-year-old artist marvels at how Europeans

describe him as an artist who explores communication, while Americans are quick to reduce him as the deaf artist. Grigely’s work seeks to explore the idiosyncrasies of language and communication. I am pulled in by his delivery, which is that of a mischievous intellect with a great sense of humor. I am left with one question: What’s with the smoking snowman that I keep seeing everywhere?

Julie Blackmon at Catherine Edelman Gallery (300 West Superior)

Julie Blackmon paints a picture of the world I live in –magical and chaotic. To say that Blackmon’s work is captivating would be like saying chocolate is good. Ummm….chocolate is divine, and so too are Blackmon’s photographs. The whimsical prints jump off of the wall begging you to investigate them further. The lucid colors and dreamlike compositions make me a little seasick at first, but once I have gotten my bearings, I am nothing short of smitten. Her contrasty prints are peppered with unexpected nuances, offering an imaginative alternative to suburban family life.

Snow Day, 2008, instills both nostalgia and dread in the viewer. A darling toddler looks as though she is half ready to run outside in her little boots and long-johns. She is perplexed staring at her belly as the bright, sunny day pokes through the door behind her, where her brothers are playing. Scarves and gloves are sprinkled on the floor along with fresh snow. I empathize with the Mom who is cursing snow days as she cleans the house later.

American Gothic,2008, is quixotic and dreary. Why would anyone dress their family in matching sweaters when they could be wearing all black and looking like an advertisement for Prozac?? I particularly like the duck who admires the family from a comfortable distance. I wonder if they have ducks on craigslist.

Valentine's Day Guys Guide

click here to watch the WGN Valentine's Day Survival for men on Feb. 12!

My least favorite Valentine’s Day was the year that my girlfriend Emma called me into her office. “You are not going to believe what Josh got me” she said. I walked in to assess the Valentine’s Day crisis. There were already two other girls huddled together giggling. “Uh-oh” I thought. The first problem was that Emma had been trying to break up with this guy for a good two weeks at this point. The second problem was that he sent her a teddy bear holding a balloon (which said “I love you”) in one hand and a vase with one rose in the other. TO THE OFFICE. He sent this to the office!!!

Awkward. I couldn’t help but join in the giggling.

“Tom (my special man friend at the time) knows better,” I thought. To my horror, I returned to my office a few minutes later and discovered a large teddy bear adorned in black silk boxers decorated with red hearts. He too brought something with him, it was chocolates. I felt icky. I hate teddy bears, I hate stuffed animals wearing sexy clothes and Fanny May chocolates tastes like cocoa flavored toilet paper. When the girls came into my office they erupted into laughter.

“What do I do with this?”I asked them. If I discard the little guy then Tom would ask to see it.

“Oh my God. I can’t be with someone who thinks this is a good idea!” I exclaimed.

I decided to hide the evidence and threw away the boxers in the office kitchen and then, I hid the teddy bear my desk drawer. Then the phone calls started. It was Tom. I let it go to voicemail once or twice. When I finally answered the phone, I uncovered the following:
1.) Tom thought my colleagues and friends would be impressed if he sent a silk, heart boxer wearing teddy bear accompanied by chocolates, TO MY OFFICE, where people take me seriously.
2.) His Mom alerted him that the best teddy bear maker was whatever A-hole company that sent me this teddy bear to begin with.
3.) Girls like it when you sent them stuff at work, so that they feel important.
4.) Maria the cleaning lady, somehow uncovered that I threw away said, sexy boxers which could only fit a one-year-old and paid a visit to me in my office. She continued to ask me over and over again in Spanglish, why I threw them away and could she have them.

The best Valentine’s Day I ever had was sharing a home cooked meal with a former boyfriend. We split a bottle of wine and cooked then stayed in.

Gentleman, don’t be Tom!!

The guide below will make you a model boyfriend or husband. You’re welcome – you can send me lavish gifts or flowers afterwards…

Make it Heartfelt
Spend a little time thinking about what is important to your girlfriend or wife. Think about stories she has told you in the past and try to connect the dots to identify things that she cherishes.
Did you take a memorable trip together? Frame a photograph from the trip and give it to her.

Is her secret fantasy to become a jewelry designer? Then sign her up for lessons locally or visit etsy.com to find handmade pieces that she might really like.These are the best gifts because it shows that you care and that you pay attention.

Socially Aware Gift Ideas
Does your lady friend recycle and live at Whole Foods? If she is a bleeding heart democrat then she is likely environmentally and socially conscious as well. The following gifts are reasonably priced and ethic.

• FIVE Accessories – eco friendly bags made from recycled materials like potato chip bags and bamboo in placed like Honduras, Bali, Cambodia, Guatemala and India. For every bag sold owner Christine Hutchison, gives five dollars back to the community where it was made.

Click here to visit FIVE Accessories online!

• Fair Trade Flowers - Fair Trade-certified flowers guarantee fair wages in developing countries where flowers are harvested. It’s only a difference of a few dollars and it really makes an impact.
  

Click here to find out more about Fair Trade Flowers!

Please find out what flowers she likes first. If you don’t know, ask her Mom or her best friend. Don’t buy her carnations – they are a funeral flower. Tell a friend.

• Cruelty free perfume – ($39.95) Flower Market perfume by Lush celebrates timeless beauty with classic florals and it is cruelty free (not tested on animals)!

Visit Lush online here!


Turn up the Heat

• Intercourses by Martha Hopkins and Randall Lockridge – ($19.77) This aphrodisiac cookbook is a must have because you can use it year round; not only are the dishes simple but they taste phenomenal! Cook a quiet dinner in this Valentine’s Day and enjoy the simplicity of it all.

Click here to buy your book today!

• Aphrodisiac Red Fire Hat Box by Vosges – ($75) Turn up the heat with this kit from Vosges: it contains spicy chocolate bonbons, an Aphrodisiac guided tasting and red feathers.

Click here to buy your chocolates right now!

Get your sweetie the ultimate Valentine’s Day experience. A gift certificate to Evlove Intimates, where she’ll get to design her very own lingerie. The gift that keeps on giving, you’ll get her the perfect gift (for both of you to enjoy) and a truly unique experience of creating it herself!

View the Evlove website and make your purchases here!

• Racy Portrait – Is your partner usually the center of attention? Women that bare it all for the camera find it to be an empowering experience. And she’ll have a keepsake for life!

Visit the Thom Rouse Gallery here for more information!

Fanciful Flirting

I remember preschool, one sunny, spring afternoon, sitting in the sandbox next to Billy “Big Cheeks” Thompson. One second, I am content, making a little sand castle, minding my own business and “WHAM”, out of nowhere “Big Cheeks” threw a mud pie in my face. I was furious. I left the playground in a huff and soon after I was driving home with my Mom in the family station wagon – my brother and sister affectionately referred to this car as the “blood mobile”. I was crying and inconsolable. My first male disappointment --if I had known how many more of these I had ahead of me, I might have started spiking the cool aid at a much earlier age.

“You know why Billy threw a mudpie in your face, don’t you?” my mother asked.

“Because he’s a meanie” I retorted.

“Because he likes you,” she said.

I gave her a look that indicated I was sure she spent the afternoon drinking AND ironing. Later I learned that my Mom was right, about almost everything.

Flirting and finding a man in a big city is a lot like shopping on Black Friday; it’s completely overwhelming but shoppers keep going in hope of finding the perfect pair of designer boots, fifty percent off. Chicago is not short on men, by any stretch of the imagination, but the good ones are tough to find. Men, it seems have more options than they know what to do with and they are programmed to live the frat boy lifestyle as long as they can get away with it. Ironically, I find that the women who fair well in modern dating act more like Billy “Big Cheeks” than your average girl. I think the mistake that most women make is being too accessible and too nice. Women are hard wired to be accommodating and to put everyone else first. When it comes to dating and life for that matter, it is important to recognize that people treat you the way you allow them to treat you, this is human nature. Men want to see how much they can get away with and believe it or not, they want to be told “no”. It’s a challenge they’re after and to win the flirting gold medal, you must be smart, supportive, difficult and fun in equal amounts.

Flirting is amusing but if you’re trying to catch a big fish, you’re going to need better bait. Another fact in human psychology is that we are attracted to that which retreats from us. Think about it. Have you ever had someone get too intense, too quickly? And how did you react? You dodged his calls and eventually asked him to please lose your number. Right? The lesson is simply to refrain from putting all of your cards on the table. Keep a few just for yourself. This isn’t cruel and it’s not game playing. It shows self respect and what’s more, it shows him that you’re not counting on him to furnish 100% of your happiness.

According to the dictionary, to flirt means to court triflingly or act amorously without serious intentions; play at love; coquet.

Flirtatious Facts

• While women are ovulating they are attracted to a more dangerous, flirty type of guy.

• Flirting is often times, subconscious, and many times people will flirt when they are feeling socially awkward. Alcohol has long been touted as a social lubricant, so too is flirting!

• Men who work as stylists or personal trainers tend to be very flirtatious. Why? To get you to come back!

• German singles are encouraged to board the Flirt Express to find that special someone. Last year, nearly 5,000 people tried to buy tickets and there were only 800 seats.

Valentine's Day Girls Guide

I always struggle with what to get my special man friend on Valentine’s Day. This is probably because most the men I know detest Valentine’s Day. I recently read a statistic that one billion valentines are sent each year worldwide, making the day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year, behind Christmas. The majority of the card purchases are by women -- 85 percent in fact, which I think sort of says it all. That said, I always get him something knowing that I will look like a jerk if he does something elaborate or thoughtful, which he will.

Selecting the perfect gift for your guy is pretty simple and if you start to panic, just remember that we have it a lot easier than they do! The most important thing you need to remember is quite simple: simply match the appropriate gift based on the level of intimacy you have as a couple. If you’ve only been on a few dates, then homemade brownies or his favorite cookie should do it. If you’ve been together for a couple of years you might need to put some more effort into it.

I hope the guide below will be of use to you!

What man doesn’t love gadgets? Seriously. Do you know any? I don't.

• Is he a wine drinker? Replace his outdated wine opener with this one: Vacu Vin Winemaster

Price $49.99

Buy the Vacu Vin Winemaster!

• Does he take his annual camping trip with the guys a little too seriously? If so, this might come in handy: Victorinox Swiss Army One Hand Trekker Lockblade Pocket Knife
  

Price $26.35

Buy the Victorinox Swiss Army One Hand Trekker Lockblade Pocket Knife!

• Is he directionally challenged? Think how many arguments can be avoided with this glorious little tool! Garmin Nuvi 270 3.5 inch Portable GPS Navigator
  

Price $150.66

Buy the Garmin Nuvi 270 3.5 inch Portable GPS Navigator!


The beauty of simplicity

• You can’t beat a quiet night in. If you waited too long to get reservations or you just don’t feel like fighting the masses, then opt for cooking and sharing a meal together in. Intercourses aphrodisiac cookbook is a must have because you can use it year round; not only are the dishes simple but they taste phenomenal!

Price $19.77

Buy a copy of Intercourses aphrodisiac cookbook!

• Concert tickets – Is he a huge Rob Zombie fan? Buy him two tickets and tell him he can take whoever he wants. (This is also a test!) If he chooses to take you then suck it up and grab the thickest black eye pencil you can get your hands on. Going to a concert that is out of your comfort zone will win you major cool points!

Peruse concert tickets here!

“Huh?”
Not really sure if you and Mr. Right Now have a future together?? Give him a gift that will confuse him. Why? Because it’s just plain fun to do!

• Message in a bottle (reading their press release makes me soooo glad that I don’t do commercial PR for silly products).
  

Order your message in a bottle here!

• Hot Sauce of The Month Club
  

Sign up for the hot sauce of the month club here!

Give him a Snuggie and include a note that reads “For those nights when I am out late dancing with my girlfriends and you are on the couch with your hand in your pants.”

Order your snuggie here!

What You Can Learn from the Most Dangerous Seductresses

It’s Valentine’s Day and Chicago Girly Girl believes that whether you are single or paired off, you should use this time of year to harness your inner goddess and celebrate all the qualities that make you unique. Seductresses have received a bad rap for challenging the conventions of society; they were persecuted in witch hunts, accused of being slavish man-pleasers by feminists and improperly labeled as dumb blondes and bimbos. True femme fatales defy these cheap stereotypes. In fact, seductresses are actually models of full empowerment—women of achievement and worth, who’ve chosen to excel in both love and life.

The women below include bombshells, non-beauties, intellectuals, artists, adventurers and non-conformists. They were apt in identifying the many different layers of seduction and knew that to be powerful, they’d have to do more than exploit their god-given beauty. Some were blessed with good looks but all were seductresses because of their intelligence, psychological prowess and grasp of human behavior.



Top Ten Ultimate Seductresses
Cleopatra – Queen of Egypt. Her legacy survives in numerous works of art, literature and film. In most depictions, Cleopatra is portrayed as a great beauty and her successive conquests of the world's most powerful men is taken to be proof of her aesthetic and sexual appeal. Few can argue that Cleopatra was easy on the eyes but this was nothing compared to her wit, charm and sweet voice; she was also illustrious, intelligent and politically astute.


Lou Andreas Salome (1861-1937) - Lou Andreas Salome was a novelist, essayist, psychoanalyst, and a muse as well as one of the world’s most dangerous seductresses. Salome was a peer of Sigmund Freud and challenged the gender roles of her day because of her indifference to moral conventions and insatiable intellectual curiosity. Salome captivated Nietzsche, romanced Rilke, and stole Freud's heart.

Josephine Baker (1906-1975) – actress and entertainer, American expatriate who later became a French citizen. Known as “Black Pearl”, Baker was the first African American female to star in a major motion picture, to integrate an American concert hall, and to become a world-famous entertainer. She is also noted for her contributions to the Civil Rights Movement in the United States and for and for being an inspiration to generations of African American female entertainers and others. She assisted the French Resistance by smuggling secrets written in invisible ink on her sheet music during the Second World War and because of this, she became the first American-born woman to receive the highest French military honor, the Croix de Guerre.


Pauline Viardot - When a fascinator like Pauline Viardot worked the voodoo of her personality on men, no one could resist this 'very ugly' nineteenth-century opera diva, including Ivan Turgenev, the literary George Clooney of his day. She sparkled with warmth and life, massaged egos, dispensed TLC, released inhibitions, threw delicious parties, and talked "like a princess."


Violet Gordon Woodhouse - a violinist who lived in a life-long ménage a cinq with four devoted "superhusbands." To say that she defied conventional beliefs would be a great understatement.



Lola Montez (1821-1861) - was an Irish-born dancer born under the name Eliza Rosanna Gilbert. She was also an actress who went on to become a famous Spanish dancer and eventually, the courtesan and mistress of King Ludwig I of Bavaria; King Ludwig later made her the Countess of Landsfeld.



Wallis Simpson (1895-1986) - Duchess of Windsor, American socialite who married, as her third husband, Prince Edward, Duke of Windsor, formerly King Edward VIII of the United Kingdom. She was described as charismatic, electric and compulsively ambitious.



Catherine the Great (1729-1796) – Empress of Russia. During her reign, Catherine the Great expanded Russia's borders to the Black Sea and into central Europe. She promoted westernization and modernization within the context of her autocratic control over Russia and promoted education and the Enlightenment among the elite. Catherine the Great is often remembered for her many lovers.


Mae West (1893-1980) - West was an American actress, playwright, screenwriter, and sex symbol. Known for her bawdy double entendres, West made a name for herself in Vaudeville and on the stage in New York before moving to Hollywood to become a comedian, actress and writer in the motion picture industry. One of the more controversial stars of her day, West encountered many problems including censorship.

Gloria Steinem (born in 1934) - Steinem is an American feminist icon, journalist, and social and political activist. Rising to national prominence in the 1970s, she became a leading political leader of the decade, and one of the most important crusaders of the second-wave of the women's rights movement. As a journalist, Steinem went undercover as a Playboy Bunny at the New York Playboy Club for a piece in Huntington Hartford's Show magazine.

How To Put Anyone Under Your Spell
1. Be Miss Congeniality. Despite what you might think, looks aren’t nearly as important as charisma and personality. The most dangerous seductresses used character, swank, and love smarts to enchant and influence men.

2. Strive to be an over achiever. The most powerful aphrodisiac is personal excellence. Think about it -- the higher we climb, the greater our sex appeal! Overachieving women are anything but needy because they are self sufficient. They are prepared to go at it alone if the relationship sours.

3. Master the art of conversation. As an aphrodisiac, nothing beats the sorcery of conversation. Wit wins every time.

4. You can go your own way. Well behaved women rarely make history. The greatest seductresses were daring renegades—independent, autonomous, ambitious, confident and unfeminine by societal standards.

5. Hot. Cold. If the mind is the supreme erogenous zone, then the key to holding the interest and devotion of your partner is emotion-in-motion. Seductresses stoke desire into a passion through a continuous interplay of elate and sedate, delight and difficulty, intimacy and mystery. They aren’t afraid of the “no” word and because of this, they captivate their subjects with spellbinding authority. Men don't want another over-eager pleaser, they want to labor for love. They want a one-in-a-million somebody who keeps them entranced, interested, and on their toes.

6. Dress the part. Chemistry has less to do with appearance than mental magic, but it should not be neglected. On the love path, it’s wise to deploy physical lures for maximum impact. Dress smart and be mindful of body language, posture and the tone of your voice.


Helpful Reading:

If you like it then you should have put a ring on it.

A couple of weeks ago I was shopping with my boyfriend. We weren’t really shopping as much as trying to avoid family during the holiday season. As we walked by a jewelry store, he asked “Do you want to go in?” What girl doesn’t want to go in? I mean, really, it’s jewelry.

We’ve talked about marriage extensively and I knew he was interested in looking at engagements rings, not tennis bracelets. My first thought was “I need a drink” and the next thought was “Oh my God, we are in a mall. Am I really shopping for an engagement ring in a mall?” My mind began racing with images of me driving a caravan and taking jello casseroles to potluck dinners with five kids in tow.

“Just to give us an idea” he added.

I smiled. “Okay.”

As we peered into the cases I quickly identified a few rings that I wanted to try on. Then mania struck. Next thing I knew, I had shed my coat, left my purse on the floor and was trying on rings with a fury. We had two people helping us and in twenty minutes I had tried on every ring in the store. After an hour or so I had narrowed it down to three, two actually, but Debra, a saleswoman was really pushing this ring that had three identical sized, princess-cut diamonds. I kept telling her that it looked strange because the middle stone needed to be bigger, but she wasn’t having it. We were going home with that ring if she had anything to say about it – AND she and her husband were having dinner at Red Lobster that evening. “I just love those cheese biscuits!” She kept saying.

Ring number one was a beautiful estate ring. I was sure, before walking into the store that this was the ring I wanted. I felt like the center stone needed to be a tiny bit bigger, but it was gorgeous. Platinum setting, princess- cut center stone, surrounded by little diamonds, even on the band. Soooo pretty.

Ring number two. Hello beautiful. It was gorgeous – simple yet elegant. It had a platinum band with a perfectly clear two carat diamond on top. “I feel like I can’t go any smaller than this because my fingers are short and stubby.” I told him. (I actually had an ex boyfriend call them chubby little baby hands. Very upsetting.)

I laughed at myself, acknowledging how ridiculous that must have sounded to the sales associates. I remembered that commercial where the couple is shopping for a television and the man tells his fiancée “I bet later, we’ll wish we’d gone bigger.” Next, they are at the jewelry counter and she delivers the same response.

My patient boyfriend smiled. “Do you like the ring? Quality, size, setting, everything?” he asked.

I gave him a big smile and nodded, leaning into him. “I agree,” he said.